Different Just Is Different

"Here we are, in a room full of strangers,
standing in the dark, where your eyes could not see me"

Nights on Broadway, The Bee Gees

When you are different it can often feel like you are standing in a Bee Gees song, standing in the dark surrounded by strangers.

Then all of a sudden the crowd parts and there stands that crazy awesome person that not only gets you, but you get them as well.

Recently a wonderfully creative friend was feeling perplexed over someone not being able to see the creative potential in a situation.

I mused that it wasn't that they didn't want to see it, in reality they just couldn't see it.

As soon as I heard the following quote, life became a lot easier for me.

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

Some people just dance to a different tune and when you find someone with the same tune going on in their head ..... it's awesome!

To me it's like everyone on the planet wears different invisible glasses.  

These imaginary glasses have a different set of lenses that you can swap out whenever you feel like it.

Kind of like a pair of Smith's I purchased in Italy.  They had 3 different coloured lenses and you just popped out one lens if the weather conditions changed and replaced it with another.  My snow lens was pristine, but the other two got well swapped.  

You can see the latest Smith concept working in the 23 second video below.


Pivlock V2 Lens Change Video from smith optics on Vimeo.

 
WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT LENSES

So in my lens analogy, everyone has many different lens that they carry around with them, it's just that some people choose to wear the same lens day in and day out so they see the same things day in and day out.

Others have figured out that there is a never ending pit and they joyously swap out their lens at whim.

NOT EVERYONE SEES THE SAME STUFF

I also mentioned to my friend that I felt that these same people who are frustrating her are seeing things through their glasses and their lens, so they will inevitably be seeing things that she can't see.  

WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT


Everyone is unique and different, some folks just pour the whole packet of spices in their life curry, while others prefer to just let a few grains fall into their soup.  Neither is right or wrong ….. it's just different.

Being different isn't wrong, its just different.  

 

We Are What We Repeatedly Do!

I was asked for my opinion of what the following message means

OK - here's my best interruption at 7AM in the morning.


We Are What We Repeatedly Do ........ it's along the same lines as:

"‘You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.'
Jim Rohn"

But because likes attract, eventually the bigger number of people will outweigh the smaller number of people, unless we do something to change the odds and change the mix of people we hang out with.

This article that I found on google goes deeper into the "average of five people" topic - you can read it here

So, if we hang out with people who are constantly striving to be better, who are honest and true - then we will be that too because who we chose to spend our time with, influences who we are.  If we hang out with a bunch of crack addicts who don't respect themselves or others and steal from and abuse others to feed their habit, then, if we don't stop hanging with them, we will eventually become like that too.

If we want to be poor we should hang out with people who are poor and have a negative poverty mentality, then eventually we will become that too because there are immutable laws that say "likes attract and negativity will always pull you downwards".

If we want to be rich, hang out with people who already have money because their actions, thoughts and deeds will be different to the people who are poor.

Same with weight loss - if you want to lose weight - hang with people who are skinny because their actions are different to people who are fat.

So if we are what we repeatedly do in the above examples - if we repeatedly hang with the crack addicts because we grew up with them and went to school with them and feel some sort of guilt if we don't - then by repeatedly ignoring the warning bells and still hanging with them - then despite the good we hold within, eventually bad will "out average" the good and we will find ourselves in trouble with the law.  Then we end up in the criminal justice system surrounded by more crims and we spiral downwards.

If we repeatedly ignore health warnings, those actions will eventually see us ending up sick.

If we want something in life, but don't take the steps toward it, we will not get want we want.

So for instance an Olympic athlete repeatedly gets up each morning and does their training - if they do it enough and have the right mindset, eventually they will make the team.  If they repeatedly lie in bed or keep the thoughts they were bought up with that say "you will never amount to much", then they won't make the team.

Going up to the olympics we often see someone injure themselves just before they get on the plane to go.  If we went down the burrow, despite their best training schedules and despite their talent, they will often be repeating a family mantra that says "something always goes wrong" - or "I'm not really good enough for this team" and bam by "doing" that thought, they attract an injury that will make those thoughts come true or they will over train despite being told to rest and hurt themselves on their very last session.

The people who hit the winning tape are the ones who are the best at repeatedly doing ALL the things that are best for the outcome they desire.

Same with people who are sick - often they don't follow to the letter what their health professionals tell them and wonder why they don't get well - what they are doing becomes what they are.

How often do we see people told to rest and they think better of that advice and do the opposite and wonder why they end up back in hospital.

If we repeatedly do negative behaviours that don't support our dreams - we won't get our dreams

If we repeatedly do the positive things that support our dreams and set our goals and do ALL the behaviours and actions that will get us to those goals, then eventually we will get what we want.

However, this applies to everything including our thoughts, so if we let negativity into our thoughts then we become those negatives - hence why it is so important that our thoughts, actions and deeds are in alignment.

Have a read of Keith Richards bio "Life" and you will understand why they became the Rolling Stones - in the early days all they did was play their guitars and live the life of a rock star - they literally slept with their guitars.

Bands that make it tour constantly - they just "DO" so often that eventually become what they want to be.

While watching the INXS doco recently it was plain their success comes down to the number of gigs they did.  Most bands fail when they stop repeating the one thing that will make them successful - playing!

No one would go through the poverty and loss those guys did in the early days, but they just kept doing it way beyond anything anyone else ever would put themselves through.

I heard Bono tell Elvis Costello once:  "For anything to be really amazing, there has to be a long obedience in the same direction."  You can read about that interview here

What I think he was trying to say was that you have to obediently do the right things over and over again for many years to get something amazing.  He was talking about how The Edge had the luxury of not being in the limelight so much so was able to just play guitar all the time whereas he doesn't feel he is as talented as The Edge because Bono was pulled off track by the political "earth saving" stuff. 

Let me know what you think "We Are What We Repeatedly Do" means below.

Molly Carlile on The Circle

My dear friend and colleague Mz Molly Carlile was featured on the morning TV show The Circle recently speaking about her new book "Sometimes Life Sucks When Someone You Love Dies"

 

Molly is a grand example of someone with a congruent message.  That means that everything about her and her message fits together in one stream lined package.

Molly spent many years on the wards as a pallative care nurse.  She has helped literally thousands of people pass from this life.  Whenever you sit down for coffee with Molly you can bet the topic of conversation goes to death within 5-10 minutes.  She is passionate about the topic of death but not in a morbid way, but in a way that educates and gives people permission to feel safe about the topic.

Already she has done SO much to change the way people deal with a process we will all inevitably go through but weirdly know little about.  She is making it safe for people to talk about the topic and helps them deal with their fears and curiosity in an open and frank way.

Over time her message is morphing and she is really focusing on helping young people understand the process of death and not be fearful.  She is using the performing arts as a great way to get her message to more people.

Strong messages open your world up to new and exciting ways to market your business or your products and services.  This week the play Molly collaborated on with renowned actor and playwright, Alan Hopgood will be the feature of the International Hospice and Palliative Care Awareness Day event, Four Funerals in One Day at BMW Edge, Federation Square on September 28^th 2010 at 7pm

You can book here if you would like to attend

If you would like to hear more about what Molly does, she was my guest on a Mosh Pit call - you can listen here

12 Personality Traits of Wealthy Guerrilla Marketers in a Natural Therapy Context

I was on a great call today with Jay Conrad Levinson.  He is the genius who coined the phrase “Guerrilla Marketing” back in the ’80s.  He has sold over 21 million books during his highly successful career.and his books are “must have’s” on any small business bookshelf.

Image Credit

So does he sell apes?

No, that would be silly :-) 

Wikipedia describes the concept of guerrilla marketing as an unconventional system of promotions that relies on time, energy and imagination rather than a big marketing budget.

Levinson used the concept of guerillas (rebels who live in the mountains and use unconventional methods to get their political message across) as a really clever way of describing marketing done at a base level often using free or low fee tactics to get your message to the world.

It was nothing short of sheer brilliance as it tipped the marketing world on its head and he has helped many people all over the world embrace marketing.


Something he shared today made me just about fall out of my chair! 

Why?

Well because it’s the exact opposite of what you might think for natural therapists.

In fact, I’m so excited I’m going to write about each category so you can really get why this information was so mind-blowing for me.

Natural therapists think they are bad at marketing or not designed for business.  

Well, this list turns that theory on its head.  If one of the greatest marketers in the world is right (and why wouldn’t he be) it seems we have every ability to be awesome marketers – we just gotta stop believing some of the misinformation we have been given by well-meaning “business experts”. 

For instance, I had an awesome woman in my Sore to SOAR group this month who had been told by many reliable sources that her business ideas and concepts were basically “rubbish”.

This made her “think” she was not good at marketing.

As it turned out she had an incredibility distinctive way of getting her message out to the world.  To date, she just hadn't found the right person who was prepared to look beyond the obvious and be prepared to help her find her unique voice.  I was honoured to be that person and I’d have to say I was pretty blown away by how creative she was once she got the hang of it.

The sad thing is she is not alone. 

Success stories abound in our industry when we figure out that standard conventional business theory won’t work when applied to something as “tactile” as a natural therapy or coaching business.

This is why Jay Conrad Levinson’s method’s changed the world ….. simply because he found another way to give people confidence and take actions that would achieve results when applied in unconventional ways. 

So I was really excited when on today’s call he shared the following twelve traits he has observed in every successful Guerrilla Marketer he has worked with.

My elation was because of course most of my people do the first eleven really well – its only item 12 they aren’t so hot at! 

12 Personality Traits of Wealthy Guerrilla Marketers

01.    Patience

02.    Imagination

03.    Aggressiveness (never give up)

04.    Sensitivity

05.    Embrace change well

06.    Educators

07.    Generosity

08.    Energetic

09.    Constant Learners

10.    Love people

11.    Maintain Focus

12.    Action oriented

This blog post does an excellent job of describing Guerrilla Advertising.

I'm so excited about this list that I’ll be breaking down each point on my blog.  I believe it is important that you get that you are ALREADY a great marketer – you just need to find a patient person who will help you roll your message out your way and stop you listening to the crap most of those "pointy-toed business coaches" deal out of textbooks.

When Jay Conrad Levinson came to Australia, I got to queue up and say hello.  When he kissed my hand it made the wait worthwhile!

Are you ready to go to the next level?

Two strangers walk into a workshop.

Both were natural therapists looking for similar outcomes but nervous as all get out. They had never met before but by “co-incidence” managed to sit beside each other.

As it turned out both these women did have something in common. They had both seen me speak at their industry associations in 2007.

I hadn’t heard from either of them in nearly three years but they were here today because their message had got bigger than their fear of public speaking.

Despite their own reservations, they were ready to find out if they were “good enough” to speak from the front of a room.

I quizzed them as to what it was that they remembered most from the talk I delivered to their respective associations. Both immediately came back with a vague recollection of a couple of things I had taught them during that brief 60 minute talk.

However both cited the reason they were sitting in the chairs, about to take themselves to hell and back, was because they remembered my story. They felt they knew me from that story and they trusted me to help them.

Both talks had caused me extreme discomfort but this short exchange showed the reality of speaking your truth. I felt honoured by their trust but I also honoured and thanked myself for having the guts to go and speak to them all those years back.

The talks these women attended were “walk in and talk” events both delivered in bleak environments. One in particular I remember being VERY nervous at because no one had mentioned my talk would be videoed. I’d driven for two hours that Sunday morning telling myself the worst that could happen was that I’d only bomb in front of a few people. The video going out to their national membership upped the odds dramatically!

The other talk had been delivered during the worst weather Melbourne could conjure up. I was tired and weary because I’d had to leave home three hours early because three out of the four exit arteries around my town were closed due to snow blocking the roads. The journey normally takes around three hours. It took me six hours this day as I progressively drove through snow, gale force winds and driving rain.

Despite these not so harmonious circumstances I made an impact on both occasions not because I was good but because the story I told resonated deeply.

It wasn’t a fancy story. In fact it was a rock bottom story without a happy ending.

It was however my truth.

These two women remembered me and my story enough to pay to attend one of my workshops three years later. Not only that, they chose to turn up to a workshop and let an almost total stranger help them overcome a fear most would rather die than do.

Back then I knew nothing about method. I hadn’t been taught how to work the energy of a stage. I didn’t know how to adequately roll out a learning set. I didn’t know how to put knowledge into conceptual bites that make it easy for people to understand. I probably broke all the rules at both talks but still my message came through because I knew how to earn the right to be in the room.

A well crafted “earn the right” makes you credible and memorable no matter what is going on because it demands you speak at the intersection of love and truth.

I influenced those women not because I was some fast eddy with slick sales techniques. I impressed because I had experienced and lived through every wart, every crinkle, every tear and every emotion I spoke about.

The power of emotional speaking is that it builds relationships.

Once you learn how to harness the emotion and tell your story from your heart, people will not only sit through a sixty minute talk without throwing tomatoes, they also remember you years later. This alone is marketing gold. BUT it gets seriously golden when people will come and work with you without you having to evoke hard sell marketing techniques to get them there.

Sure it’s not the fast road to success but it’s powerful, it’s genuine and it’s real.

The course they attended last weekend was called Sore to SOAR and man did everyone soar. One participant contacted me this week to tell me she has sent away for the material she needs to run her first workshop. She has been meaning to do it for ages. Difference this week is that she has done it.

But I get this feedback all the time. It is awesome and I love hearing every word.

However there is something more important for me than seeing participants float from the room espousing how much they’ve grown and how good they feel. What is truly remarkable is the undeniable fact that 80% of the participants who have attended fully have either spoken in public or delivered their own workshops within two months of completing Sore to SOAR.

That’s my point of difference – people actually step up and step out, some within weeks of attending the course.

The people who have done the course are just everyday people who have a dream in their heart and a burning desire to help more people.

Many who are breaking through are busy Mum’s, people just setting up in practice or people who have already had success in one aspect of their practice. To date they have been a bit “scaredy cat” about the next step but are good to go now.

They are the unseen heroes who have been standing beside a massage table treating people one on one or sitting at home knowing something is growing within them. Knowing their message is important for the world but they have no idea what that message is, how to find it or how to get that message out or even where to start. This eventually causes discomfort.

Discomfort is the one thing that makes most humans move.

What’s weird is that these supposedly “ordinary” people already have the story within them that will gain them recognition and give them the confidence to leap up to the next level. Sore to SOAR allows them to connect with their story and we all have one. The true magic occurs when you learn to apply the “earn the right” formula to your story.

Sore to SOAR is not just another workshop it’s a personal expansion.

The two strangers left with an admiration for each other rarely forged in a weekend. One shared as she walked out the door that she felt she finally had all she needed to speak. It was an incredible honour to move her from feeling ordinary to extraordinary in such a short period of time.

Sore to SOAR gives people two ultimate gifts – confidence and no excuses.

If you are ready to go to the next level there is a Sore to SOAR intensive workshop running in Melbourne 26 and 27 June 2010.

Sore to SOAR takes you on a journey from a sore place of really hurting inside to one where you SOAR out the door on Sunday evening with a heap more clarity around what you do and how you can make a difference to a lot more people.

The early bird price is running out soon.

Book now: www.Sore-to-SOAR.com

Are You Addicted to Fear?

I had a big aha moment last week when a well loved client had her inner wimp out tap dancing on the table.

As the wimp tapped loudly she made a lot of noise but was really only treading the same old boards out of habit.

I realised just like drugs, alcohol and anything else toxic that become a negative due to overuse, habits often cover fear. This creates a vicious circle because our egos love fear. Above all our ego hates change. This gives our ego a vested interest in keeping us dancing on the spot.

Fear and ego are a formidable force and continue to provide rational reasons not to do things.

Once addicted our fear and ego begins to dominate our destiny.

Eventually we overuse fear to the point of addiction.

Not such a bad thing if the behaviour we get addicted to is positive because initially that at least creates forward movement. But when the behaviour is negative it results in a downward spiral.

Unless we create some sort of intervention program, the problem only becomes worse.

You know you are addicted to fear if you:

* Are not moving forward

* Under charging

* Over giving

* Feeling frustrated that things aren’t working out for you

* Know your actions (or lack of them) are limiting your potential

* Start believing the excuses you create to cover your actions or inactions

* Listen to your negative voice instead of ignoring it

* Have a great message or service that isn’t getting to enough people

FEAR is the root cause of all these points and this is the short list. There are a thousand things we are addicted to that hold us back.

However I believe the fear list can be distilled down to seven core items

1. Fear of failure

2. Fear of success

3. Fear of being judged

4. Fear of getting out of your comfort zone.

5. Fear of not being good enough

6. Fear of getting the things you actually want

7. Fear of your own greatness and light

All these fears are driven by internal voices that frankly just churn out a bunch of lies about you 24/7.

Call the voices whatever you like – the monkey voice - inner wimp – inner vandal – inner critic – inner “holding you back from being who you really are” hooligan ……. there are a thousand “inners” who stop us in our tracks.

After a while though the voices become comfortable friends that give us an excuse for not accomplishing all the things we want to do. Once that happens, your fear is now an addiction.

Addiction comes in many forms and there are many theories, including 12 step programs that assist people to break through their addiction.

I know for myself I attended a Debtors Anonymous meeting and experienced the full hit of facing myself head on in a 12 Step program. As I spoke the words “I’m Margaret and I have a problem with debt”…..and heard the response back “Hi Margaret” …. I knew I had gone too far.

My problem came because I set out on a crazy journey of self discovery, following a dream that was probably best left in the “do with more resources” pile. I didn’t start out with the right knowledge to go from a salary earner to someone who had to sell themselves to make a living. By the time I got the right knowledge I was way out of control and was addicted to maxing out credit cards.

I knew that I had to overcome the addiction because it was holding me back.

My first step was to recognise I had a problem and then I had to look at the root cause because the debt was only a symptom. The real truth of the problem was that I was addicted to expensive personal development workshops. I kept going to them to get validation and they kept selling me another course. I had found the source of the problem. An out of control positive habit and the fear of not being good enough.

The hard core reality check that meeting gave me sent me cold turkey and made me accept I had just been repeating my old “not good enough” inner talk. Once I got that I understood I could at least stop the debt growing by accepting that I didn’t need others to tell me I was worthy of personal and business success.

It was time to set up my own courses and start teaching and silence that vicious inner wimp that was keeping me from helping others.

Now if I attend a course I ask three golden questions:

1. Is this educating a weakness or a strength?

2. Will I come out with a tangible skill

3. Are my guts churning? If they are, I know I’m facing a fear.

If not, then I have probably learnt the information already and haven’t been brave enough to put the knowledge into action, or my ego is keeping me in line.

Either way I take an action that will pull me into discomfort because I know that’s where the growth is. I have found facing fear in this manner and walking straight through it clears the fear. But you have to keep facing your fear long term.

Good learning will make your guts churn because it puts you outside your comfort zone where you don’t know the answers. It will also place you with people who challenge and inspire you, not people who are churning out what you want to hear and making you feel all warm and fuzzy.

I was told at one of those fancy PD events, “Margaret once isn’t good enough - you need to climb a mountain of fear every day”. I had just exhausted myself overcoming the very real fear of climbing a very real mountain in a snow storm where at one point slipping on the ice and falling to your death down a ravine was a very real possibility.

There will always be another mountain of fear and that day I got to the top by taking one small step at a time. I knew if I stopped I would give up. I didn’t take breaks with the others I just kept going. I’ve found taking action certainly helps keep the wimp in line and the mountain climbable. Even in a snow storm I eventually blitzed my fear and the ego that said I couldn’t do it.

So if you are like me and you like to take action and walk through your fears then maybe I have a deal for you.

The greatest fear most people have is to speak in public.

The greatest business and personal growth building skill you can acquire is to speak in public.

I’ve also faced the fear of speaking in one hit.

I was a total wimp but knew I had to master public speaking to get my message out to more people. So my first public speaking appearance was to a roomful of my coaching peers. I just went and did it with no training. As it turned out I broke every “rule” in the book that fateful night but they loved me none the less and I’ve never looked back.

Now I help others get over the fear of speaking and I find the type of people who turn up to my Sore to SOAR speaking intensive are “just do it” wimps.

They are as scared as I was that night I spoke to my colleagues. But deep in their hearts they know they have to take a leap of faith because, like me, they figured out:

“You speak when getting your message out becomes more important than your fear”

Once you walk through a fear you realise there is nothing on the other side.

Once you speak you realise you have a tool that will give you everything on the other side along with the personal recognition you so deeply desire.

Sore to SOAR asks you to tell your personal story to six workshop participants.

Its like me speaking to coaches – it’s a safe audience because they understand how you feel. You can’t fail because you know your story backwards and the others in the group give you the encouragement to voice it.

The really interesting thing for me is that many of the natural therapists who attend the course have been drug and alcohol addicts in the past or have endured and overcome more physical and emotional abuse than most humans need to.

They turned to alternative therapies to heal their wounds and then went on to train in the modality that helped them. When you learn how to put your story into a compelling format - your story becomes your glory - and people start to understand why they need to work with you.

To date about 80% of the Sore to SOAR participants after finishing the course have either spoken to groups or set up their own small workshops and have started to stand in their own power. These are extraordinary results because most people leave workshops with great intent but fail to implement the knowledge or like me end up in courses that don’t make you take action.

My 12 step experience made me swear to create programs that really drive people do what they sign up for at least once. I think the difference with Sore to SOAR is simply that you go cold turkey. You face the fear in front of your peers and once you have mastered speaking, which is the one thing most people would rather do than die, you just go ‘pah’ and get on with it.

The effect speaking has on a small business is remarkable because it gives you opportunity to get in front of more people, you become an inspiration to others for your braveness and it opens new doors.

If you have a message inside you that is burring to get out – I’d love to help you banish your “inners” and finally feel “heard” not just in your business but in every level of your life.

The next Sore to SOAR Speaking Intensive is 26-27 June 2010 in Melbourne. It’s limited to six people. It sells out fast. Book NOW www.SoreToSoar.com

Have You Joined the Spectacularly Unsuccessful Club Yet?

Today two clients had the same experience – an event that had been a spectacular disaster.

They were licking their wounds and learning the lessons from the experience in stunning style.

Instead of the “build it and they will come” scenario they had planned, one basically would have been better at the beach on the day of the event and the other had to take a big bite of humble pie and cancel their event.

They entered the Spectacularly Unsuccessful Club with honours.

If you haven’t made the “Spectacularly Unsuccessful Club” many would say you just aren’t trying hard enough.

I’ve found the not trying hard enough concept, although harsh and hard, to be exactly true. If you aren’t pushing yourself outside your comfort zone and trying new things and new ways to present and promote your business then at best you are probably working within your comfort zone and are at worst in a rut.

I have found it to be 100% true that people who are prepared to have a go and accept failing as just an inevitable blimp on the path to success are the ones who get the most success in the long term.

Please don’t get me wrong I’m not saying set yourself up to fail and everything will be OK. What I am saying is be open to having a go at new things and if they don’t work out as well as you hoped they may, learn the lessons and gain the knowledge that will make it a success the next time.

Failing is only failure if you:

1. Don’t study and learn the lessons why the failure occurred.

2. You take the same actions or in-actions that got you in hot water the last time

So what went wrong?

As my clients and I discussed the finer details of their event implosion we got to the truth of why their efforts had less than bodacious outcomes. They both came up with exactly the same answer which was not enough targeted marketing action soon enough.

They both knew “the right actions” to take – they simply didn’t take them fast enough.

Lack of appropriate and timely marketing in anything you do will inevitably cause mediocre outcomes but when you put that in the event arena, no matter how big or small your event is - you are sure to have problems.

The reality of facing what really happened after all the “buts” and “ifs” were put to rest was enlightening for both parties. Both then dug a little deeper and realized there were messages for them at a much higher level. Both will have much more successful events in the future on every level because they got clear on their message and they got clear on what actions they had to take long before the event date was looming on the horizon.

The Magic Occurs Outside Your Comfort Zone

I celebrated both those gutsy women because I knew that they were truly “getting it” because they had set up events that really only got mediocre response. Does this mean I’ve gone completely barking mad? No, simply because I know they won’t do it again because they well and truly learned their lessons. It hurt so hard that the wisdom is now burnt in their brains.

Humans Are Drawn To A Lesson Like Bugs To A Flame

Sure there are sensible ways to learn our lessons. There are libraries full of books that tell us how to NOT do things a certain way and my website is full of things that will help you get it right the first time.

BUT humans tend to like to do things the hard way.

I from my own experiences have found that I’ve learnt my greatest lessons from my greatest times of darkness and my blatant need to express my stuff-up-ability at every turn. I reckon I’ve turned around and run straight back into the same fire many times until I finally learnt my lesson and stepped out of the fire and stepped up into my purpose.

Without Guts There Is No Glory

The “Kleenex Experiences” on my journey to make my dream of working positively with people come true have always been from gutsy moves. You know the ones that would have been better left alone and me following the tried and true path.

"Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go instead where there is no path
and leave a trail."
Muriel Strode

Frequently the mistakes outdid my triumphs twenty to one but when those triumphs finally came I’ve had something to meter them against and have truly revealed in the glory.

So if there is so much to learn in failure I have two questions:

1 Why do we feel so much shame when we make a mistake or have a go and don’t exactly get the desired outcome?

2. Why is the personal development industry so hell bent and setting expectations of perfection that most can never attain and if they do attain the perfection they can’t grow from it?

I don’t know the answer to those questions but they are worth us thinking about.

What I am doing is applauding loudly every time one of you does something that takes you outside your comfort zone even if the outcomes are less than perfect because I know you are putting yourself in a place where glory can find you. And who knows you might even get it right the first time!

The five key things I have learned about challenging situations are:

1. The sun comes up tomorrow and the situation never seems as bad as it was the day before

2. Take the hard decision as soon as you see the error of your ways

3. Make the error as “right” as you can as quickly as you can and then figure out how you can do better next time

4. Actually take the actions in step 2 & 3

5. Hang onto your hat because you are about to take a big leap forwards

As I’ve worked through the pain of some of my very memorable stuff ups my personal development has been gigantic to the point now where I seek to challenge myself at every chance. Sure I get myself in hot water from time to time but to date the world hasn’t ended. Instead awesome opportunities have always presented themselves once I understand and act on the lesson.

If you have joined the “Spectacularly Unsuccessful Club” why not leave a comment and share your story of how you grew from a not so pleasant experience.

Lessons to be learnt from a Vege Casserole

Last night I awoke in the middle of the night with a flash of the bleeding obvious and I am still giggling.

Getting all your ducks in a row is an important part of business growth.

One of the biggest ducks to have lined up is your own personal health and vitality.

I’d have to say that I’ve let that slip since moving to the country. A recent trip to the fabulous Prahran Markets in Melbourne City (where I used to shop when I lived in this trendy inner city suburb) reminded me of the way I used to care of myself before I leapt into the dream.

Back then I had a corporate pay cheque that ensured I could walk out of that market with a shopping jeep full of organic food and vegetables without thinking twice about how much it had just cost me.

During my journey to build my dream there were times in the early days when all I had money for was what I’ve lovingly dubbed the 3P’s =

1. Porridge
2. Pasta
3. Peanut Butter Sandwiches

You could buy a lot of the 3P's for $10 when on welfare payments. There was one horrible week I remember, when the only reason I had peanut butter sandwiches was because the local Bakers Delight store put a voucher in my mail box for a free loaf of bread. I wrote in to thank them for that voucher some months later and the owner was blown away that they had made so much difference to my life that week.

So somewhere in the nightmare I created in the early days I lost touch with vibrantly healthy food and ate what I could fit into an impossible fiscal situation. That certainly didn’t include eating take out or Maccas or KFC –it hasn’t been that I’ve been eating badly, I just haven’t been eating optimally and I have lost touch with is the joy of healthy, vital organic food. Now I’m ready to get back to that place and only accept food made or grown with “love” because I know it’s the answer to my next step up the ladder of success.

Sometimes the answers are right in front of us and don’t require a lot of effort to change. I live in foodie heaven and many of our farm gates probably supply Prahran Market – I’ve just got to get back into the habit of making trips out to their on site stores and making vital food a priority.

Health Coach Susan Living has been helping me get back into appreciating vital health. Susan’s enthusiasm for vital health and zealous support of “anything green” has been getting me get back on track. Who thought you could put spinach in your morning juice!

Part of my “homework” this week has been creating and implementing a healthy eating plan that will fit into my sometimes manic schedule. So I had a lovely time over Easter at the Castlemaine Farmers Market purchasing organic veges from the incredibly passionate vegetable aficionado at the Fernleigh Farms stall. Surrounded by all this enthusiasm I was pumped up to come home and start my vegetable casserole, guaranteed to rid sluggish livers of bad vibes.

Any of you who have met me personally will know that I’m not a domestic goddess – I can cook if I put my mind to it – but my future preference is a butler who will take care of all that. But the vege casserole recipe was pretty idiot proof really and went something like chop up healthy veges and herbs – put it in a casserole dish, add homemade vege stock and put it in the oven (my kind of meal!).

Everything was going well until I was required to place 3 tablespoons of LSA (ground Linseed, Sunflower kernels and Almonds) into the bubbling aromatic mix.

It immediately went all gluggy. So gluggy in fact I just picked the big bits out and the compost bin got the rest.

I was highly perplexed by this because I’d made a smoothie a few weeks back and the same thing happened – add LSA – glutinous maximus mess! But LSA is only ground up nuts – it really shouldn’t do that ............ so what was I missing?

In business we need to become multi taskers and we are constantly asked to put in time saving measures and do things once – do them well – all those good pieces of advice. I am a master at finding ways I can save time and automate and do several things at once, but it seems you also need to have a good memory to avoid unexpected knock on effects.

Some time ago I had been enjoying fruit smoothies for lunch (note the chuck it all in at once process I’m so fond of) and in my infinite wisdom had cut down the processing time by adding my Psyllium Husk Fibers to my container of LSA to save time.

Psyllium (Sellium) Husks do many good things for the body but at base level they are a bulking agent which helps with constipation.

So there was the learning lesson in the vege casserole – if you are going to multi task – at least remember what you’ve multi’d or you’ll end up in the poo :-)

Luckily I just picked out the big bits and discarded the sauce part or I could have been in BIG trouble this morning – because a smoothie only requires ONE scoop – THREE tablespoons would have really messed with my system.

Mojo Wrecking Avalanches & Broke Down Puter Blues

Could it be called fate?

Call it be called divine intervention?

I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter what you call it but there is no doubt in my mind that there are times when we are forced to go inward and deeply look at what we are doing and why we are doing it.

I’ve had two weeks like that recently.

My laptop died the morning I was due to present in Noosa but the show went on (thanks to Sandy and Curly Harris for saving the day and letting me use their laptop).

Two weeks later, a couple of expensive visits to experts and my poor hard working laptop is still trying to restore all the files I’ve dutifully backed up. As they return back onto the hard drive it looks like they probably aren’t going to give me what I expected at the end of the day.

I’m grateful I’m still healthy and I know a lot of people have a lot worse problems than a broken computer but for someone who works with the internet this is like a builder trying to build a house without their tool box and a hairdresser trying to cut hair without their scissors, chefs without knives. In fact it’s a dream stopper because without the right tools we can’t make money and pay our bills. Things can get messy really fast!

This seemingly out of my control incident, along with a few other personal things (you know how everything comes at once) that have caused a great deal of angst have caused me to re-assess where I was with the earth the world and everything.

To be honest I have been close to the brink of giving up.

I’ve taken a fair bit of flack for admitting the fact publicly that sometimes the wheels fall off my life and things are far from “perfect”. I just see it as an honest response when “shift happens”.

I find this “perfect” illusion is created from those on the bottom of the ladder of success who are looking up - not the ones on the top looking down. In fact yesterday each speaker told of their “none to perfect” life before they figured out all the knowledge they needed and then how to get that knowledge and then implement it. After many big bumps they finally got their perfect life which sees them constantly travelling the world, working their butts off in between bouts of extreme luxury. But they are away from family a lot so nothing is ever perfect even at the top of the ladder.

It has been very important for me to not appear as one of those coaches who just pretend everything is lovely and beautiful and create an unrealistic bar for others to jump over. I like to tell it like it really is so you can learn from my journey and not beat yourself up when something goes pear shaped for you.

What you can’t do is just ignore it and pretend its ok – that’s just like waxing over a dirty floor. I find the best and quickest way to get out is to stop for a while and go inward. When you are prepared to go to the honest places, those deep recesses which any wise individual would stay well away from, a message eventually appears. Mine came while channel surfing Sunday morning TV in my pajamas (standard issue uniform for anyone contemplating their naval).

I was drawn into a story of two men who got stuck in a place called Avalanche Alley in North America, known funnily enough for its regular Avalanches. Long and short of the true story saw the two friends pushed to their absolutes limits, without food for days and trying to crawl for their lives. One of them had a broken hip, the other was dragging him out inch by inch through some of the worst terrain and weather conditions imaginable.

The upshot was yet another avalanche swept them into an ice crevice where the inquired man “luckily” was dumped on an ice shelf close to the exit but his buddy landed much further down. Most at that point would have given up because they were seriously stuck.

Instead of giving up he started to shout at the Universe “I CAN TAKE MORE” and he kept manically shouting out “I CAN TAKE MORE”. When his buddy awoke, confused and unsure if he was still alive all he heard was someone shouting “I CAN TAKE MORE!” It gave him the motivation to start climbing up to him.

This extreme reaction to the drastic situation they found themselves in made me realize I too could take more – hell mine was only a broken computer. I jumped up and started to pace up and down the hall shouting I CAN TAKE MORE!

The two men eventually dragged themselves out of a situation that would have defeated many simply by putting one foot in front of the other. Finally a rescue party found them and the real men who actually survived this event were interviewed and described how the ordeal has influenced their lives. Neither has lived their life in the same way once they left hospital because they believed they experienced a miracle that day.

Every time I’ve faced off a “bad” time I’ve also found things changed radically around me and nothing was ever the same again.

As I later thought about why this bizarre response helped spur them out of a place of hopelessness I realized why it probably works.

There is a saying one of my mentors taught me

“The Universe won’t give you more
until you can handle what you already have”

So when you find yourself in a place where you think you can’t handle any more, that’s what you get – nothing more. Our intrepid heroes were only getting avalanches and exhaustion so they kept getting more of that.

But by changing that energy and stating you can take more, suddenly the perspective shifts and new possibilities kick in. Their new possibility was being rescued because they had stated they had room for more.

I’m certainly not recommending this as a long term strategy but I guess the reason I tell you is because things aren’t always easy but the landscape can change quickly once you understand your message. In the climbers case they knew they had to get closer to spirit. In mine I have to "only work with the best" and have the very best tools and people I can.

The journey from good to great can sometimes feel like an avalanche is pushing you down a mountainside but that is just part of the perfection of imperfection.

Since that shouting moment I’ve had such clarity and had the energy to go and hang out with some mad people like me who push the boundaries and hear how sometimes the boundaries have pushed back on them. I’ve gone and inspected the Mac Book Pro and learnt more about what they do. I’ve learnt a new saying from Mac owners:

“when you have a Mac you never look back”

So if you get times when things haven’t been working out or when people upset you or it just all seems way too insurmountable, please know its part of the journey that gives deep meaning to the cliché

“it’s about the journey not the destination”

My puter is now limping along without the hoots and whistles and things aren’t looking as fancy as before but I now have the ability to make the cash flow again. Luckily all my work files are backed up so I haven’t lost anything but it is taking a very long time to get it back to where it used to be and sadly it may never be the same.

So I apologise if you’ve tried to contact me or if I’ve been grumpy or silent and haven’t got back to you or I'm using a dodgy template or if their are spellos. At least I'm back in action.

Just know I strongly believe another saying another mentor taught me

“as low as you can go is as high as you can go”

You can either decide to judge me for my honesty or learn from my experience but for now I’m just excited to see what’s on the up side of the next leg of the journey :-)

Why Do Natural Therapists Get Into Business in the First Place?

As I continue to work with Natural Therapists I’ve come to notice that it is no co-incidence that people have been drawn to natural healing modalities.

The one common thing that I’ve noticed is that natural therapists are often drawn to a modality because it helped them “heal” an aspect of themselves.

Often it’s a health challenge such as cancer or depression. Sometimes it may be the self esteem they lacked after years of physical, mental or emotional abuse. Substance abuse and eating disorders also features highly, often with natural therapies being their last resort before the long arm of the law caught up with them or worse they faced personal harm or death due to their habits.

As the person was “healed”, frequently after failing within the western medicine model before finding natural therapies, they were often inspired to go and learn more about the modality that helped them so much. The more they learned the more inspired they were to help others and hence commenced training, generally in the modality that helped them.

As yet there are no clear guide lines as to what drew them to a certain form of healing but most certainly most therapists I’ve encountered have a really interesting story to tell. Sometimes it takes a little digging to find it, but once unearthed it gives a whole new dimension to who they are and who they can help. It brings clarity and a clear message to everything they do.

I’ve noticed this more as I’ve begun to teach people to speak, specifically using their story as a way to gain credibility with an audience. As I get therapists sharing their story, often the heart wrenching details leave a bread trail right to the source of the reason why they got into natural therapies in the first place.

When that happens something magical kicks in because their story becomes their glory as they realise how much their personal story will cause people to attract to them, knowing they understand.

We all have a story and often the thing that has challenged us the most in life and in time have overcome is the thing we can most help others with.

Sore to SOAR is the program I have put together to help therapists get their message out. You can find out more here: Sore to SOAR

The Importance of Standing Out in Business

There are many things that make up a successful small business but by far one of the most important things we need to keep in mind when we have a small business is to stand out and be different.

Being different helps in three ways

1. When you stand out from the crowd it makes it easy for people to remember you.

2. Finding creative ways to stand out draws attention to your business and frequently brings PR and free plugs that you may not have normally achieved.

3. You attract people of like mind to your business, which makes the sales process easy for you because they have attracted to you naturally rather than you trying to draw them in.

I was reminded of the importance of standing out when it came time to choose the winner of this years Utopia prize draw of a months coaching with me. When you view the video you will see how a very simple addition to the entry form made the selection of a winner a no-brainer.

It also highlights the need to be vigilant and adding creative bursts of colour to everything we do.

What Would You Die For?

It was Monday lunch time so why would a bunch of hairy old hippies in bad trousers who insisted on ending every sentence with “man”, lead me to ponder the deep question “what would I die for”?

I went to see the movie “The Boat That Rocked” and after being immersed in lashings of humour, great rock and roll music and the inevitable over indulgence in every transgression on offer in the 60’s, I ended up in a deep and meaningful moment asking myself “what would I die for”.

As is often the case with comedy, through all the joviality I was moved to tears as the story progressively rocked toward some moments of truth.

Set in the mid 60’s the story is based on a bunch of rebellious DJ’s who had been banned by the authorities from playing rock and roll music from land based studios.

With everything SO accessible today, this situation seems ludicrous. But yes back in the 60’s the only place for British teenagers to hear rock and roll on their transistor radios or “trannies” (the 60’s equivalent of an i-pod not a Rocky Horror cast member) was to tune into the legendary pirate radio stations anchored in the freezing cold waters of the North Sea. At best floating rust buckets and worst case death traps bouncing about in appalling weather conditions, the colourful crew happily rocked on and raised their finger at the straight-laced government authorities who were constantly battling to take them off air.

As the movie progressed I realised I “knew” all the characters. I had worked with every single one of them when in the 70’s I played in a glitter band in the only licensed nightclub in the bottom half of New Zealand’s North Island. They had different names and faces of course but their personalities and souls were identical.

Not wishing to give away too much of the plot the government eventually legislate them out of existence and it’s a bit like the synopsis of the Titanic story – “the boat sinks”. But when it came time to be taken back to the safety and legitimacy of the shore, the DJ’s refused to budge. They kept working although they were now breaking the law and risked jail terms in doing so. When the boat started taking on water instead of heading for safety, they continued to broadcast – knee deep, then waist deep in water. They were prepared to go down with the ship, just like the musicians on the Titanic did.

I know it was fiction but because I “knew” these people so well, I understood that all those years ago I would have done exactly the same thing. Without a thought for my own personal safety, the passion I had for my work would have kept me playing. My band would have been the same, as would the motley bunch of bouncers, bar workers and floor staff that populated that seedy, sin infested night club in the 70’s. We had a common vision and a common goal, to create the best possible experience for our patrons. With a community that strong, anything becomes possible.

On the way home I became quite sad as I pondered my current position. I work in a field that is similar to rock and roll; our industry has many similarities. It is not conventional, we have alternate views to the mainstream, there is heavy opposition from places of power and therapists and musicians have the same morbid fascination with bodily function. But the most important comparison is that our product or output comes directly from the soul.

So why isn’t our industry more cohesive?

• Why are most therapists governed by fear - the fear of promoting their businesses’; fear of being seen as pushy or aggressive or showing off if they “toot their own horn”.
  
• Why is money such a taboo subject?
  
• Why is success thought so shameful by so many?
  
• Why are so many “waiting for a sign” or permission from some external source to help all the people who are injured, suffering, unwell or needing positive guidance – is the current state of the world not enough of a “sign” we are needed?
  
• Why do other therapists judge and label those who do become or even seek to become successful as “selling out to commercialism”?

Then I asked myself “am I selling out” and would I die for my work?

As the passion grew within me I realised I would still die for my job. I would face a death sentence if someone tried to stop me speaking my truth, which is that everyone in the personal development and natural therapy industry deserves massive success in whatever doses are right for them.

Would I break the law? When I thought about it – I already am. I have dedicated so much to have the freedom of my own business that some things have been left by the wayside, unattended. Not through conscious decision but from being so poor I couldn’t do anything but ignore my taxes and the mounting levels of debt and I had no choice but to trust the funds would eventually come to sort it out. I just kept going and still deal daily with the chaos I have banked up over the past seven years.

I know what it’s like to go to the edge and jump off and not fly. I know how it feels when you hit rock bottom with a crash. I work way more than I “should”. I’ve endured serial aloneness. I know the discomfort of overcoming my fears and my deepest demons. I know what it’s like to bomb in front of an audience and I’ve felt defeat more than once. But I realised I won’t stop until I’ve nailed this thing called a “dream” because like so many of you, it’s my soul purpose to help people positively.

I’m not telling you this to have you feel sorry for me, please celebrate with me because my work now gives me so much joy and fulfilment and the rewards I receive now far out weigh anything I have to “fix” now.

Why I tell you this is so you won’t give up if you are feeling like a looser if things aren’t working out like you thought they “should” or if others are making you feel less than adequate,

You have the divine right to build whatever is right for you, but it takes courage and strength and I wouldn’t have got this far without the support and love of my mentors and investment in my business knowledge.

I’m certainly not endorsing you doing anything stupid or risky but if you read the bio of your favourite author or seminar leader, they will have a story of hardship. They will have slept in cars, gone through relationship breakups; most have been bankrupt or close to death more than once. But they believed and they kept going because their desire to achieve became greater than their fear.

Like our DJ heroes, the people who achieve their dreams are the ones who over come their fear and just kept rolling the message out.

A successful business equates to freedom. At the end of the day I always give thanks for the blessing of freedom to live my life the way I choose. Would I die for the gift? YES!

Things for you to ponder?

1. How can we as an industry embrace the same rock and roll passion that kept the musicians on the Titanic playing as the boat sunk and create a common vision and a common goal?
   
2. Would you die for your current job?
   
3. If not, what would you need to do to create a job to die for?