Molly Carlile on The Circle

My dear friend and colleague Mz Molly Carlile was featured on the morning TV show The Circle recently speaking about her new book "Sometimes Life Sucks When Someone You Love Dies"

 

Molly is a grand example of someone with a congruent message.  That means that everything about her and her message fits together in one stream lined package.

Molly spent many years on the wards as a pallative care nurse.  She has helped literally thousands of people pass from this life.  Whenever you sit down for coffee with Molly you can bet the topic of conversation goes to death within 5-10 minutes.  She is passionate about the topic of death but not in a morbid way, but in a way that educates and gives people permission to feel safe about the topic.

Already she has done SO much to change the way people deal with a process we will all inevitably go through but weirdly know little about.  She is making it safe for people to talk about the topic and helps them deal with their fears and curiosity in an open and frank way.

Over time her message is morphing and she is really focusing on helping young people understand the process of death and not be fearful.  She is using the performing arts as a great way to get her message to more people.

Strong messages open your world up to new and exciting ways to market your business or your products and services.  This week the play Molly collaborated on with renowned actor and playwright, Alan Hopgood will be the feature of the International Hospice and Palliative Care Awareness Day event, Four Funerals in One Day at BMW Edge, Federation Square on September 28^th 2010 at 7pm

You can book here if you would like to attend

If you would like to hear more about what Molly does, she was my guest on a Mosh Pit call - you can listen here

Do you want to be a chocolate, cheese and freedom mouse?

There has been a bout of pull-out-it-is in my practice the last few weeks. 

We often don’t notice trends until they start happening more regularly and the time frame between incidents start to shorten.

I’ve had two clients wanting to pull out of sessions this week and a bout of pull-out-it-is a few weeks ago on workshops. Too many to ignore and enough to call a trend. 

So I sat down to figure out what was causing this because if I’m getting it there

a) a message for me

b) a message my people (that’s you) can learn from

I think I’ve finally sussed it out. 

It’s the new energy asking us to step up to new levels.

This month for the first time I taught Masters. It was one of my most joyous teaching experiences. However, my biggest learning from the weekend was that my pot cupboards had to get rearranged. The current set up was a logistical nightmare but on a higher level I was being called to step up and get ALL my small details sorted. 

As you know once you start moving one thing – everything needs to change and I now have a very practical purpose designed new desk (not the folding barbeque table a friend gave me eight years ago when I literally had no money to buy anything). I also have new storage shelves in the admin office and am fighting the good fight with the resident mouse before the pot cupboard can get sorted.

The mice are of course part of my lesson. You know when you get small irritating things turning up in your life – you need to take care of the small things = DUH moment!

I bought this fancy “mice device” that humanly traps the mouse and then you take him somewhere safe and set him free. This thing is the Rolls Royce of mouse catchers at $25. I have released one little mouse and left him with 4 organic almonds and a piece of cheese to help him on his journey.

His buddy though is proving more elusive. The treats are getting more extravagant in the “mice device” and now include aged cheddar and chocolate ….BUT he’s not having a bar of that and is still pooping all over the kitchen.

I’ve just had a break point where I stood in the kitchen shouting – “it’s the chocolate, the cheese and freedom OR it’s the cheese in the old fashioned trap – YOUR CHOICE BUDDY!”

All the people who have been wanting to pull out of coaching sessions or workshops have all had good excuses. They haven’t done their homework, they have been sick, busy, had kid stuff on, had conflicting appointments, were down for no reason blah blah blah on went the excuses.

Bless them they made me step up and write back and give them a kick up the butt and remind them that the magic occurs in the dark times and in the hard places. These are the times the coaching will really work for them.

Yes, as a coach its great when the client turns up and it’s all love and light and everything is perfect. BUT I know for a fact that my very best learning experiences have come when I’ve showed up in those times when I didn’t feel great and in some instances when I really “should” have stayed at home. It’s the same for clients and workshop attendees – they get the best results if they have suffered a bit to show up.

I was to be seen at an event in Colorado passed out on the floor at the back from jetlag and exhaustion – but would I go to my room for a nana nap. NO because I knew I would still be in the energy of that room and picking something up.

The new energy we are moving into is bringing challenge and change with it. What I’m noticing is that it is challenging at the really basic levels, like cleaning up the pot cupboards. It is also asking us to show up in the hard places and deal with our dark side – those icky yucky horrible emotions and fears that we would rather not deal with.

Here is the segue to the mouse, the cheese and chocolate – you knew it was coming :-)

In the end the winners will be the ones who run into the arms of the people who are there to help them and care enough to have the humane trap lined with cheese and chocolate. 

They are the ones who are prepared to stand up, own their past mistakes, be seen as they truly are and be rewarded with freedom at the end of a scary experience.

However, those who keep pooping in the corner, not showing themselves fully to everyone around them and thinking they can live in an old paradigm will perish. Staying in your safe little hiding places where no one can find you will annoy someone to the point where they simply close the door on your behaviour.

You and your practice are the same. If you continue to hide behind your fears and lack of confidence, refusing to accept your greatness, in the end people are going to get sick of you and will just wipe you out of their life.

I also had someone step up to one of my high end programs today. She came onto the call stating she was sitting on the fence and she was sick of it. I reminded her that people who sit on the fence waiting for the right time to make their move will end up with one thing – pickets up their bum!

I’m really starting to understand this new energy demands us to go to the next level or get off the fence. Yes I know how hard it is to face who you really are. I’ve gone from the wimpy quiet and reserved beige girl in the corner (that no one ever noticed) to someone who is really out there now. It’s not easy and it takes a lot of nuts and guts but the rewards when they come are HUGE in every sense.

All I did to change my reality was to make a choice to change and I learnt from people who had taken a similar road to one I wanted to travel. I kept showing up even when I didn't want to. I took their advice and I took the actions they recommended. That's all.

Maybe its time for you to figure out which mouse you are. The one choosing to show up fully in the humane trap with the chocolate and the cheese or are you content to continue scurrying around the edges, hiding and setting yourself up for a nasty big bang.

This was just going to be a quick reminder for those interested in learning to teach teleclasses but it has turned into a great article with nothing to do with teleclasses. 

BUT if you want to be a chocolate and cheese mouse and run into the arms of someone who will help you step up and learn a new skill that will add another revenue stream to your business on your terms – check it out here

Do You Have A CHOOSE Day?

The Beatles made a lot of money from a song called Eight Days a Week but to make a lot of money in your small business doesn’t mean you have to work Eight Days a Week.

Work life balance and starting a small business are not often seen on the same page. Somewhere in the “silent code book for small business – author unknown” there is a rule that says you have to work your butt off to be successful and everyone somehow finds that rule and adheres to it.

Most certainly you do need to put in a lot of time and effort in the early days ……. BUT if you work yourself into a burnout frenzy, you are NOT going to be able to work effectively IN your business, let alone ON your business.

One of my fabulous coaches and mentors the lovely Belinda Merry taught me that you MUST have regular time off to rest and recuperate. That message is even more important for health and wellbeing practitioners.


If you aren’t 100% filled up, you can’t give 100% to others.

In the early days of setting up your practice you need to be out and about seeing and speaking with a lot of people and it can be exhausting. If your practice is already full or filling, it can be exhausting just giving as much as you do to your clients so balancing that with adequate rest and down time is vital to your success.

BUT there IS a lot of work in getting any small business working well and sometimes you do have to burn a bit of midnight oil to get all the things done that you’ve got to do. Plus most of us have a home office and the temptation to overwork is generally just a few steps down the hall.

So I’ve come up with strategy that works for me.

I have ONE NON-NEGOTIABLE DAY OFF EVERY WEEK.

That means no matter what is going on I MUST NOT go into my office, nor turn my computer on, nor answer the office phone, nor do filing or paperwork – nothing! One day a week has to be completely for me. That rule never gets broken because I know Belinda has a global tracking satellite at her international headquarters that registers if you work on your day off and she will come after me!

I found if I had two non negotiable days off and there was a back log starting to build in my office, all that would happen is that I’d end up stressing about it.

So I created the concept of CHOOSE DAY

I create a CHOOSE DAY in my diary one day every week. So I cross the day off and write in CHOOSE DAY. It can be any day of the week, it doesn’t have to be a set day each week but it does have to be in your diary every week – months in advance.
So when CHOOSE DAY rolls around I can look at that day and think – is there anything so pressing it can’t wait until tomorrow?
Sometimes there are pressing things that MUST be done so I choose to work part of the day. Sometimes I use CHOOSE DAY as my creative writing day, which I love and it fills me up. Other times I know there is nothing pressing so I have CHOOSE DAY off to dig my garden without guilt, or go shopping or just rest and read a book. What is important is that I get to CHOOSE.

The golden rule is that you NEVER book anything else on a CHOOSE DAY so that when it rolls around you have a true choice in how you spend that day. I find by having a CHOOSE DAY I end up with eight days in a week because I tend to jam everything into the other days of the week so CHOOSE DAY remains free. I find it stops me procrastinating on the other days and I just get on with whatever needs doing so my CHOOSE Day remains a “me” day.

Is your business suitable for the pen or the pot?

As I stood viewing the myriad of community notices on the gigantic notice board at the Hepburn General Store last week, one rough hand written notice jumped out.

Firstly it horrified me. Then it got me to thinking further about the deeper message for small business owners that was imbedded in this hastily written give away.

When I was a small child the chickens down the back in the hen house where my only pets. So I was always sad around Christmas time because they “went on holiday”.

This holiday always coincided with me being taken to my grandmothers for a special treat. Now here’s the thing - when I’d get home the chickens had packed their bags and “gone on holiday’ - leaving the hen house silent and empty with feathers all over the back lawn.

I always imagined they were having a nice time because they inevitably never came back and a few weeks later the cycle began again as 12 little fluffy yellow peepers were collected from a local farm.

You can imagine my horror when I joined the dots on the holiday lie and our Christmas dinner offerings!

The fate of my chicken friends all came flooding back as I read the sign at the Hepburn General Store:

TO GIVE AWAY = ROOSTERS
(for the pen or the pot)

As I walked the two blocks back to my house my mind began to think through the “pen or pot” analogy and why it was so relevant for business.

The reality of being in a small business draws many parallels to the harsh reality of life in the country.

In a small business if we don’t serve the needs of those around us we can quickly find ourselves in a pot of boiling water.

However, if we do serve well and can creatively communicate our message out to a group of people who want and need our services, then we will live a long prosperous life.

Roosters are like natural therapists. They walk a fine line because just like roosters a big new batch of therapists roll out of the teachings schools each year. Sadly only a small percentage will survive.

The big thing roosters and new therapists have in common is that they look similar, they talk the same and they do similar things. Until they develop a point of difference they are dispensable.

Most flocks only need one rooster because they start fighting for domination.

However, the one who gets chosen for the pen is NOT usually the one who fights the best but the one who has the best personality and can show it.

Foxy the Rooster dominated the hen house on the edge of my property for many years is a grand example.

Foxy was a stunning looking rooster with a flowing auburn bouffant mane. He kept the gals happy, crowed with great gusto and bore a striking resemble to Tina Turner in the way he would strut around the Hen Hilton.

But a dark cloud came over the pen one when day two voices started to crow…………

Foxy had bred a rival and this interloper was now brave enough to start showing his true colours and he was starting to unmercifully beat up on Foxy.

Foxy who was getting on in years now became frightened, and cowered in the corner whilst this newbie took over his “rutting and strutting” duties.

BUT because Foxy had served so well and was so full of personality it was the interloper who was removed unceremoniously from the pen, placed in a cardboard box and delivered to a local farm to take his chances in the pen or pot race.

Foxy recovered in minutes and was back in the role of "Prince of the Pen" and reigned supreme for many years to come.

Foxy was a winner on five levels because he:

1. Delivered on his promises and could be relied upon by all in his kingdom

2. Built relationships in and around his pen (we all loved Foxy)

3. Was not afraid to show his vulnerable side (he was a real wimp)

4. Stood out from the crowd with his beautiful auburn coat of many colours and consistently and clearly churned his message (crowed all hours except dawn)

5. Outsmarted the competition by simply being his wimpy self but his heart and authenticity saved him on many occasions.

Therapies can learn a lot from Foxy!

By being authentic and real, figuring out what makes you unique and then standing strong in your message and your ability to clearly communicate that message to others will help you stand out from the crowd and show how different you are from the competition.

Even if you are a wimp cowering in the corner, these whimpy virtues can be enough of a difference todetermine your entry to the pen or pot.

In business things can move quickly. Technology changes, trends change, new laws can impact or even just keeping up with your every day marketing AND seeing clients can become exhausting.

But if you have built strong relationships with your clients you will find they are loyal so long as you keep giving and improving your service to them.

One way of standing out from the crowd is learning to speak in public. In fact it’s imperative to your success. The gentle art of creating good stage presence in fact saved Foxy’s life on every level.

I am running a f*r*e*e Teleseminar

Wednesday 11 August 2009 at 8pm (Melbourne Time)

to promote my live event called Your Next BIG Leap which commences in 10 days.

There is only ONE seat left for the live event - jump in here if you want to jag it

BUT there is a heap of space on the free teleclass for everyone so jump in here and register now so you get the workbook and the audio recording.

The Global Peace Initiative of Women (GPIW)

I had the great honour to have Dr Mary Faeth Chenery (left) speaking about her work with The Global Peace Initiative of Women (GPIW) in my Guest GURU spot this month. Mary Faeth is the Australian coordinator for the work of the Global Peace Initiative of Women - you can read more about her here.


I heard Mary Faeth do a full talk on this subject and I was moved by the way people were making such a difference on the planet by being of service. It highlighted to me how each one of us can make a difference at a high level when we open our hearts, allow the love to flow AND take action!

Please listen and enjoy hearing the awesome and inspiring work of this wonderful organisation. Please listen to the audio with my compliments by clicking on the little heart:


MP3 File

Jaipur Conference – African & Hindu delegates (below)









Ven. Kang Soeun(above)


Cambodian nun, Swiss delegate, Ven. Dhammananda (right)


Muslim & Buddhist women, Taiwan (left)



Meditating at Compassion Retreat, Taiwan (right)


Buddhist nun from Cambodia Cambodia with Swiss translator (left)




You can find out more about The Global Peace Initiative of Women (GPIW) here http://www.gpiw.org/

If you have questions for Mary Faeth or you would like to find out how you can be part of the next conference please leave a comment below and I will ensure she gets it.

Please help to share this message

Global Healing Discussion

Much distress has been felt in Australia in the past weeks as natural disasters have wrecked havoc on the land and all the human and animal inhabitants in the disaster zones. With both fire and flood causing damage at opposite ends of the country it has been difficult for many to reconcile what is happening at a higher level.

Simone Matthews of Universal Life Tools and I were talking earlier this week about the devastation and its effects on heart based therapists and we felt a need to do something that may help others gain some understanding and give them a tool to help them move forward.

There is of course no easy way nor is there a quick way to heal, but through the support of both our communities coming together at a heart level, we felt we may create unity that will radiate outwards to help others in a similar way.

We hope we were able to explain some of what is going on at a higher level but not to diminish any of the events or the effects from the events, we simply wished to give people a simple tool to help them come to balance.

Simone gifted a beautiful meditation which you can listen to as many times as feels right for you. We also had a wonderful discussion and attempted to answer questions from the many people who were unable to make the call live.

You can listen to the discussion here:

Global Healing Discussion

MP3 File

If you would just like to listen to the meditation, you can click the slider below and the meditation will start to play. We recommend you do the meditation each day until you feel the time is right to stop.

Global Healing Meditiation

MP3 File

Simone has also created a wonderful resources page on her website with links to many other people who are offering support to light workers, creating mediation circles and of course listing many of the practical ways you are able to help the situation.

Click here to visit the resources page

You can also listen to the audios in a slightly different format here

I also wrote a newsletter article called Finding the Positive When Things Clearly Are Anything But Positive - you can view that here

Finding the Positive When Things Clearly Are Anything But Positive

Does anyone feel like we have lived the 12 months of 2009 already and it’s only the second week of February?

This week has carried huge lessons for us all.

I have been in a position where, by choice, I have seen very little of the news and have chosen to tap into the positive stories and news that has been coming via my wonderful clients and colleagues. All the stories of human kindness, of love, of people figuring out ways they can help people both in the flooded areas of Queensland and the fire ravaged areas of Victoria.

I’m not sticking my head in the sand and ignoring what really happened, in fact at one stage I knew that fires were burning 30 minutes from my own house and I am very grateful that the Cute House was safe when I returned from the city. I truly feel for those who have lost so much and honour those who left the planet in such tragic circumstance.

I know I cannot change what happened in the past few days but I do know we can change the way things play out in the future. I believe at this time it is important to not send even more grief, fear and sadness into those areas through our thoughts. By not watching those images I have chosen to allow the people effected some privacy to grieve their loss, for the people moving in to clean up the aftermath some space to do their work and moreover to not send any more negative vibes into those areas.

I keep hearing people say “it’s so sad” or “I feel so helpless” and there is no doubt these statements are true but each time we say these things we are sending our sadness and helplessness straight into the area to sit on top of what is already naturally there in the aftermath of the tragedies.

I know it is heart wrenching to watch those images but we cannot change what has happened in the past few days, but humans entering the situation with love and kindness can and are changing the situation for the people who have lost so much.

Now more than ever we must focus on all the amazing things that are happening in and around those areas of need. There is so much human kindness, compassion and love being poured out by caring, loving people and focusing on this aspect will bring more of this activity.

The service people such as the firemen and women, medical people, all the humanitarian and government agencies, in fact anyone doing anything positive are awesome; let’s send them messages of strength and recognition for their work.

There is so much to celebrate as communities form to grieve together, people work shoulder to shoulder and the human spirit is allowed to do what it does best and that is to shine in the face of adversity.

There is so much love to be shared and at times like this it is truly time for the healers of the planet to step right into their power and use all their gifts and talents to do their small part by remaining positive, keeping the thoughts on all the good that is happening (and it is huge), neutralize the negative and take all the constructive actions that are right for you at this time. But please find a way to move through the sadness and grief and don’t continue to add pity and sorrow to the mix.

As with any situation of grief and loss there are so many ways we can positively help the people who have been affected right now, but in the weeks to come they are going to need our continued support through positive actions, thoughts and deeds.

When I was studying Business Management at University many years ago, my stats teacher taught us an interesting concept. Scientific study shows that humans can only take so much happiness before they plateau out and can no longer take in any more good news. Once they reach that plateau then whatever you tell them just bounces off. It is the human body’s natural way of stopping it overloading if there is too much good to be had.

So if you have good news to deliver and you have a lot of it, then you simply deliver enough to get people to plateau, give them time to come back down and then give them the next piece of good news. This way people will get the most value from the good news if you feed it to them one small piece at a time over a period of time.

Bad news is exactly the same and the human body has the same shut off valve that stops it overloading when there is just too much devastation and grief to be dealt with. So in a business situation if you have bad news to deliver, then you simply tell everyone all the bad news at once. They will react badly for a while but then they will just shut down and not be able to take in anything more. It basically numbs down the senses.

Anyone who has experienced the death of someone close will know the feeling of life going on around you but you seem to be watching that life go on like you are sitting watching a movie. Things just don’t affect you as much as they should. This is a blessing in many ways but eventually a healthy body and mind will determine you are ready to feel again and suddenly they will be dealing with all the pain all at once.

Many people in the tragedy zones, here in Australia and all over the world, are in some stage of this bad news protection right now but eventually the effect will wear off and they are going to come out of it and they are going to need our help.

Now more than ever healers and therapists and everyone who works from the heart are needed at full strength on the planet.

Using the happy news principle we are going to have to top them up every day so they can keep feeling the love and support that is truly there for them. We will need to keep doing it for months and in some instances even years to get people fully through the heartbreak that will inevitably impact at full force within the next few weeks.

Now that the media is so “on the spot” we have instant access to events that once we wouldn’t perhaps even know about. As healers we are going to need to find a way to deal with these tragedies, honour what has happened and move quickly to a place of healing.

I was speaking to Simone Matthews of Universal Life Tools on Tuesday and we were discussing how the events of the past week are impacting the healers who have a heart felt need to help and who are feeling these tragedies at a very deep level of their consciousness. We don’t have all the answers but we felt if we could bring healers and therapists together in a virtual room, perhaps develop some level of unity and move quickly to that place of healing of firstly ourselves, then move that love and healing fully into the tragedy zones on the planet.

Details of the call are here