There were long periods of advanced "uncoolness" for me when I was a child and this funny but very true observation really resonated with me."This [video #1] really resonated with me I am in that social media car right now. I thought my GPS was programmed then disaster struck. Those storms we've all been having knocked the satellite out of orbit and my GPS has crashed. I started off following people I tried engaging with them but its like I'm that irritating kid all the other kids hide from. Tina and Lena, I really need to be one of the cool kids and master my social media online - will you both help me?"
As a quiet observer of social media I've seen a lot of "suckiness" - "trying to push into the cool gang" - "try hards" and "skites" - the latter we were never allowed to attempt as kids - over tooting your own horn was seriously frowned upon. As I've grown up, I've come to realise a bit of shameless self promoting is definitely ok when you really have something to celebrate..... but everyday - pleeeazzee!
Social media to me seems to imitate life - the internet in general is amazing in the way it does this.
Yesterday a friend was sharing the massive cull she had in her 5,000+ facebook list stating she couldn't be meaningful with that many people. I'd confess I don't know this person well but she sure went up many notches in my eyes with that one simple post.
As I sit looking in, I see yet again how being in your truth shines through and how having the guts to cull your list when everyone seems to be racing around friending everyone in sight and liking for the sake it, is the flavour of the day. Their shallowness shows in these activities as much as they would if you ran around a cafe shoving business cards in the face of total strangers.
I've had a few of those float through my life over the years in many different guises.
When I was playing in bands you used to get it a lot - people loved to hang with you just because you were the band. They never got to know you or figure out who you really were, they just wanted some of whatever they thought you had, to rub off on them.
At one point there were so many people in the band corner where we used to sit between sets, that the band couldn't even get in! Curious because they were the worst seats in the house and you couldn't actually see the band properly from that corner anyway. The actual band members eventually had to sit in the kitchen because there was no room for us. The band corner was still pumping though, but they hadn't noticed to actually BE with the band you would need to move to the kitchen, but they could go to work the next week and tell all their mates they were in the corner "with the band". Such is rock and roll!
But the people who truly were "with the band", were the ones who helped us pack up two ton of equipment at midnight and load it into the van in the rain, or consoled us when we bombed - those people's names I remember years on. In fact I can remember every line on their face, every challenge they encountered and every tear they shed, because they just weren't there in the good times, we had a two way relationship and we were there for each other for the long haul.
It may take a little longer but being yourself, building meaningful relationships and speaking your truth, not just what you think everyone wants to hear will bring much longer term results. I'm starting to observe a lot of people culling their lists - not just facebook but all lists.
Infusionsoft my new CRM system recommends culling your list every six months. That was a very hurty place for me considering how hard I worked to build it. But I figure they know more than me, so I've been putting pressure on my list to see who remains standing.
Remember that old saying from the 60's - it always had an accompanying butterfly picture :-)
If you love something
Set it free ........
if it comes back its yours
if not it was never meant to be
In a three month period I have lost a few, certainly not as many as I expected which is lovely but curiously the ones who left had never actually transacted anything major with me. My new CRM system tells me a lot about people and guess what - most of the people who flew the coup were all the ones who had floated in, picked up the free stuff and left when the pressure went on. So very rock and roll!
The other few were people who came on early in my ramblings and my message has changed and no longer serves them because they aren't therapists. The rest have stayed put, I guess because the message is still meaningful or I've done things in the past that allow me some slack.
I've come to the conclusion, whether its business, life or facebook - shallow relationships don't always create long term gain. It seems to me there will always be a place for smaller groups of loyal people, and from my experience, they are the coolest kids on the block!
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